HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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