she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
