so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
