you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
