So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
