so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
