i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
