Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
