The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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