So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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