I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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