sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
