New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
