I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
