I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
