I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
