Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Randomize
