thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
