Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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