guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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