He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
