why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
