nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
