no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
