How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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