when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
