this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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