i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
