im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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