I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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