do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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