So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My pussy is not your playground.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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