Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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