Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
