lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
