I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
