For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
