wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
