I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
