Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
