Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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