ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
