there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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