you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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