She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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