We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
someone owes me an orgasm
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
