My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
