I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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