He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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