I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
