let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
