HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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