Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
