I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
