Where is the hickey?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
